Rocks are hard.

I'm feeling much more sane than I was in the last post, although not completely (as I'm not sure that complete sanity looks good on me). I almost considered buying myself a straight jacket but they don't come in black or purple...and white is not the color my pasty self should be wearing EVAH!...regardless of when Labor Day is.

My life and world lately has felt like a roller coaster it's in a frying pan on high heat right before being put in the blender and set to puree. Motivation and insipriation being the seasoning right in there with it. Oh, and add a dash of anxiety, non-stop stress induced arm twitching, tears and heart organ juice. Yum! *This is making me hungry*

What's that famous saying?...oh yes..."I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place". Which in my head, looks something like this:



This phrase has always baffled the logical scientist in me, quite honestly. Don't you just pick up the rock and chuck it at the hard thing & break the rock....and walk the other way? Or use the rock as leverage to push the hard place out of the way? Jump over the rock? I mean, how big is it? I have no idea. I think the walls are the tough part...not what is on the other side, right?!!!? Whichever the answer, I'm still stuck, the shoe still fits and I figure if I'm going to be here awhile...why not search, in the meantime, for some beauty in between the walls?!?! So, that is what I'm trying.

::continues search::
In light of recent tragic world events (and no...not MY world...but the actual world, jeesh, I'm not an ego maniac!) such as the devestation in Japan, the nuclear crisis, massive gas fires in Minneapolis, Over 6,000 deaths from the Tsunami, the protests in Wisconsin, the unrest in Libya....(the list goes on and on) I'm trying to find  relief and thankfulness in the small things. The things so easily clouded with everyday stresses and personal speed bumps that in the end...in the bigger picture are not so detrimental in comparison. Being surrounded by the inevitable drama and chaos that human emotion eats for lunch is so incredibly minuscule in contrast. I'm almost ashamed of myself.

So...dear in between place...thank you, I'm starting to get it & it's not so bad in here. I'll glady live next to a rock and neighbor a hard place if it means I will postpone a kind of death by living, by losing, by gaining, by loving, by allowing, by giving, by receiving, by feeling. By truly living. I'll poke holes in these walls if I have to to let some sunshine in but I will not turn away the embrace, of beauty in the breakdown.

::enter acknowledgment to Anais Nin and Imogen Heap for a look through their eyes::